visions of credit cards

So last night I had this dream that I was trying to buy a teddy bear at the Build-a-Bear Workshop. I picked out my creepy stuffingless bear, picked out my heart to put inside it (equally creepy) and was just about to get it stuffed when the lady behind the counter told me that my bear buying privileges were suspended because I owed them FOUR HUNDRED AND NINETY DOLLARS.

Whatever, subconscious. If I'm going to owe anyone $490.00, it will not be them. I'd rather be dreaming about owing the Coach store, or maybe the Clinique counter. Stupid subconscious.



arrivederci, rebecca marie

you people are insane

No, not you people... the people who find me by mistake when searching for something else on the internet.

I found it intriguing, so a few months back I decided to save some of the searches. Here are some of the searches that led to me;

spanking implements, excuse me... could you please get off my blog? I don't think it has the kind of spanking you were looking for.

COOLEST ART THAT WILL MESS WITH YOUR HEAD, friends, I am not yelling at you. This search was typed in all caps. I love to think about the person soooo excited to be looking for the COOLEST ART THAT WILL MESS WITH YOUR HEAD. I would love to meet that person, sincerely. And, the really awesome part of this search is that it linked back to three of my entries. Rather than choose one I choose none.

abradabracadabra lyrics, I'm sorry that anyone remembers that song. I'm sorry for anyone who saw the video. I'm sorry for anyone searching for the lyrics. I'm sorry for ever mentioning it in my blog.

one armed stripper, I will find a picture of her someday. Glad I'm not the only one on the prowl for her. If she is an urban legend... don't tell me. It'd be like finding out that the government didn't assassinate JFK after all.

hand modeling, people are weird, that's all I have to say. Wait, I suppose that would make me weird too, I did post about it... sort of.

please pictures of real, real aliens, Don't you feel sorry for this guy? He was frustrated enough already, obviously, but then he found this. Or was it this?

Jolene's long toenails, Hee hee hee. Foot fetish gone bad? Or perhaps something equally disturbing? Or perhaps, Jolene has really long toenails.

And lots lots more... I seriously saved like thirty, and just picked my personal favorites. I just was not going to link to "jennifer lopez turtleneck," or "queen arquette," or "rebecca booty ice," and trust me I could go on an on. I also decided to use discretion and not link to the multiple searches for "phone sex aunt," "hot sex aunt," "rebecca's hot aunt," and so on.

So here's what I wonder... did they ever find what they were looking for?



arrivederci, rebecca marie

p.s. sadly, some of the searches have re-sorted by relevance. i am now irrelevant. dark days my friends, dark days.

will you promise not to tell?

So you know postsecret? I have some ideas for some secrets I may send in. They are not really my secrets, I'm just making them up so that I'll have something more fun than "I hate my body (which i totally DON'T)" to send in.

Here're some I'm thinking about;

I think killing animals is wrong, so I poke holes in the meat packages at stores hoping to rot the meat and give carnivores food poisoning.

I was so jealous that I didn't make the homecoming court that I stole the hairspray out of the bags of the girls who did.

At Christmas time, I break all of the candy canes I see.

I make scary faces at kids in carts at the market, just to make them cry.

When I get an aisle seat on a plane, I pretend I'm sleeping and trip people.

I stole every pair of underwear I've worn since I was 19.

I cheated on my SAT then blamed depression when I failed out of university.

It's not that I think text messaging is stupid like I say I do, it's that I'm too stupid to figure it out.

At the last party he threw, I stole his yearbook. The one I'd written "i love you" in.

I slept with the best man. No, not sex, but sleeping. Sleeping with him was the safest I ever felt.

I am a closet pyromaniac. I'm also afraid of being burned, so it's a safe balance, so far.

My bra and underwear ALWAYS match.

I still watch Saved by the Bell. Daily. Because I taped them all in chronological order and also because they are my only friends.

So anyway, maybe I'll send some in, maybe not, too. If any of my lies ever get posted, I'll let you all know!



arrivederci, rebecca marie

where. are. my. cards.

So last night I was asleep right? And I had this dream about this movie called Pandemonium. I highly recommend watching the trailer. It sucked. Big time. But, Janni Laine and I used to watch it a bunch in the early eighties thanks to every cable channel in the world (which meant about 63 at the time) and a lack of parental control in regard to our programming choices. Now, now, don't get all twitterpated about my parents being negligent. Cable was still pretty new, it probably didn't occur to them to wonder what we were watching. They probably thought they were doing enough by limiting our MTV to one half an hour a day, which we would bank and use up all at once on Saturday. Man, those were the video days... Angel is a Centerfold, Safety Dance, Pretty Woman (the creepy Van Halen version), Don't You Want Me, Baby... but I digress, this is turning into a whole 'nother thing.

So anyway. This movie, Pandemonium, it was for some reason waiting dormant in my subconscious. It reared its ugly head last night. Sort of.

Really, it was Judge Reinhold that invaded my slumber. Here's how the dream went...

"Hi, Judge! I'm a big fan." (odd, to say the least, I mean, he's fine, where would Fast Times be without him, not to mention... well, best not to start a list.)

"Hi, how are you?"

"I'm fantastic! Remember that movie, Pandemonium? Me and my sister really loved that movie, but I was looking for it on Netflix and they don't have it."

"Well, actually, there is going to be a major re-release!"

"No way! Seriously?"

"I'm totally serious. And, let me give you a press kit. You deserve it after being such a long time fan of me and the movie"

So, I open the press kit, which contains a DVD of the movie, a poster of Judge Reinhold and Paul Ruebens, and... drum roll please, trading cards. Judge (that's what i call him, Judge) was awesome enough to sign the poster and the trading cards for me.

I'm sure you can all understand my disappointment when upon waking there were no trading cards.



arrivederci, rebecca marie

FYI

this one time i had the hiccups for twenty weeks. i am not even kidding.

arrivederci, rebecca marie

making good on my bet

i lost the bet, fair and square, so for the next two weeks, this logo that was so kindly provided to me by bsc will hold top position. enjoy, bsc.


arrivederci, rebecca marie