injustice is served
‘Member how exciting school supplies were? All of those pristine number twos with virgin erasers, the brand new (cardboard, not that plastic crap of today) pencil box, un-deadly scissors, glue, all of it was downright magical.
Well, Janni Laine was two grades ahead of me, so for TWO WHOLE YEARS I had to watch her get the booty. Watch her walk to school with her friends. Watch her use and abuse the beautiful supplies. It was a long and tragic two years.
So imagine my glee when I finally arrived at August, 1978. It. Was. My. Turn. I went shopping at Gladstone Thriftway for all of my beautiful supplies. It was as if all my birthdays and Christmases came in one day. The crowning glory of the lot was my purple plastic ruler. That’s right. A purple plastic ruler. No wooden piece of garbage for me. I was ready to begin my training for future MENSA membership.
Until Janni Laine ruined it all. Yes. RUINED. She chose five minutes before we needed to walk out the door as her moment. She decided to misbehave. My mother, in a scramble for an appropriate tool, grabbed my ruler. As you probably assume, purple plastic rulers do not hold up as spanking implements. My ruler was a loss.
I’m still incomplete.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
Well, Janni Laine was two grades ahead of me, so for TWO WHOLE YEARS I had to watch her get the booty. Watch her walk to school with her friends. Watch her use and abuse the beautiful supplies. It was a long and tragic two years.
So imagine my glee when I finally arrived at August, 1978. It. Was. My. Turn. I went shopping at Gladstone Thriftway for all of my beautiful supplies. It was as if all my birthdays and Christmases came in one day. The crowning glory of the lot was my purple plastic ruler. That’s right. A purple plastic ruler. No wooden piece of garbage for me. I was ready to begin my training for future MENSA membership.
Until Janni Laine ruined it all. Yes. RUINED. She chose five minutes before we needed to walk out the door as her moment. She decided to misbehave. My mother, in a scramble for an appropriate tool, grabbed my ruler. As you probably assume, purple plastic rulers do not hold up as spanking implements. My ruler was a loss.
I’m still incomplete.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
proclaimed by rebecca marie at 12:35 PM
12 flattering compliments:
Now, do these funny and entertaining stories come, perhaps from flashbacks? Or perhaps you are in therapy to release your repressed memories?
I can't believe that your sweet
Mother would do that...she is a hoot by the way.
lori ann, are you kidding? she used to wave a giant spoon under our bedroom door and it was enough to scare us into submission. she still gets it out on occasion.
james, i just tell them as they come to me.
that is too funny
The real question is: Did Janni Laine learn her lesson? Or did she later get punished with even more of your school supplies for acting up again?
Also, are you sure she wasn't pursposely acting up? You know, a little self-sacrifice, knowing that your ruler would be broken in the act of her own punishment? It might be worth it to a sibling two years your senior just to get on your nerves, even at that young age. Remember, my two boys are two years apart. I've seen stranger things from them...
did you get a replacement ruler? how tragic! how horiffic!
it's a wonder that you made it through school at all with a beginning like that . . .
Purple rulers rule! Such a sad story that was...Janni Laine should buy you another purple ruler.
But do you remember the glory of choosing a lunchbox? What would it be...Dukes of Hazard, Stars Wars, Strawberry Shortcake? I wish I had kept my Magnum P.I. holder of bruised bananas and single slice bologna & government cheese sandwiches (never yogurt or twinkies-- only the families with more money could afford those). It would be worth a pretty penny on Ebay!
I currently have a fuzzy purple pen holder on my desk at work. I never got any super duper things like it growing up (we didn't have the money), so I live for them now! I like to buy frivilous ridiculous things like that now!
And, James, maybe when you guys come to Portland you can meet the woman that is Rebecca Marie. She is comprised of awesome.
I would love to meet awesome incarnate!
I was always partial to the blue tubes of glue with the spongie thing at the top. You knew school was almost out when that thing dried up. Kids are so lucky these days 'cuz now you can glue with glitter in it.
R.M. it was a pleasure meeting you this weekend. It's always fun to put faces and voices with blog mates.
Wow, I bet you were really psyched when Trapper Keepers started showing up somewhere in the 80s. I never could stand school, or the supplies that came with them, but I loved my Keeper.
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