how to win friends and influence people - by rebecca marie
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but I am a reality TV (read: unscripted TV, there is nothing real about it…) junkie. I used to watch most of them, but have successfully weeded a few out. I never watched American Idol. I do enjoy a few minutes of the first few episodes each season, but once the talent gets good, you lose me. I religiously watched The Bachelor when it was first out, I mean, clear back to Alex Michelle, the gay (just Janni Laine's and my opinion) bachelor. But I stopped watching after The Bachelorette with Meredith. It was just too sleepie-aroundie for me to justify watching. I loved The Mole, and was devastated to find out that Anderson Cooper was given an ultimatum and chose CNN. Dumb Jerk. The Amazing Race is, in fact, amazing. My summer events are plotted around Big Brother. And I’m one of the remaining three percent of the population that is still not over Survivor. I’m sure I’ll watch that until it finally dies a slow, painful death.
Here’s what I’m thinking. Let’s all form alliances. Far as I can tell, it’s the best way to get away with lying-cheating-stealing and still keep your friends. It’s like a get out of jail card. Like, I could form an alliance with Tabitha, and then tell horrible lies to my very good friend Rebecca. “I know I said I’d come over and help you yesterday, Rebecca, but I got a call from Tabitha that she had a flat tire and I needed to help her.” Then, when Rebecca finds out that Tabitha and me were sucking on slurpees at Lloyd Center, watching ice skaters fall down, I could just say, “oh, sorry Rebecca, we will be friends forever, but I have an alliance with Tabitha.” (she never would've found out, by the way, except she's in an alliance with Ryan and he saw us and ratted us out.)
Or, if Sarah is coming to town, and I don’t have time to clean my house, Breanna can secretly come over and clean my house, and then I can take aaaaall the credit because we have an alliance.
Or, Tim can drive the getaway car when Shanna I rob a bank, cause that’s what you do in an alliance. Probably, he’ll go down and serve prison time, cause when you are in an alliance, and you get caught, you do tend to get voted off. It’s a calculated risk. If it pays off, you don’t go to prison, instead you earn the awe and respect of your friends. “What? You only pretended to like me to get promoted? Well played, bravo.”
Yeah, alliances. I definitely think we need to bring this gem into the real world.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
Here’s what I’m thinking. Let’s all form alliances. Far as I can tell, it’s the best way to get away with lying-cheating-stealing and still keep your friends. It’s like a get out of jail card. Like, I could form an alliance with Tabitha, and then tell horrible lies to my very good friend Rebecca. “I know I said I’d come over and help you yesterday, Rebecca, but I got a call from Tabitha that she had a flat tire and I needed to help her.” Then, when Rebecca finds out that Tabitha and me were sucking on slurpees at Lloyd Center, watching ice skaters fall down, I could just say, “oh, sorry Rebecca, we will be friends forever, but I have an alliance with Tabitha.” (she never would've found out, by the way, except she's in an alliance with Ryan and he saw us and ratted us out.)
Or, if Sarah is coming to town, and I don’t have time to clean my house, Breanna can secretly come over and clean my house, and then I can take aaaaall the credit because we have an alliance.
Or, Tim can drive the getaway car when Shanna I rob a bank, cause that’s what you do in an alliance. Probably, he’ll go down and serve prison time, cause when you are in an alliance, and you get caught, you do tend to get voted off. It’s a calculated risk. If it pays off, you don’t go to prison, instead you earn the awe and respect of your friends. “What? You only pretended to like me to get promoted? Well played, bravo.”
Yeah, alliances. I definitely think we need to bring this gem into the real world.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
proclaimed by rebecca marie at 7:35 AM
4 flattering compliments:
I agree - I want to form an alliance with someone to do something and then get some stuff - any takers?
On another note: the closest I have seen to real unscripted TV is 30 Days on FX. This is the guy who made the movie "Super Size Me" where he ate nothing but McDonalds for 30 days. Now he has a TV show where he has other people do things for 30 days - the one I saw was a Christian who had to live in an American Muslim community. Very interesting and compelling TV. The one waiting on my Tivo is a straight guy who lives in the gay area of San Francisco. Then this Wednesday they will have technophiles living without electricity. I think I'm hooked.
i heard that he and his wife also took leave of their jobs and got part time jobs to see if they could live off of minimun wage (with no health insurance) for 30 days . . . they both had to go to the emergency room at one time or another during the month (he got an infection and she needed stiches) and pay all the bills out of their own pockets. he ended up having to get a second part time job to pay all their bills. they even rented an apartment and everything . . .
i will form an alliance with you rebecca marie, and the flat tire thing really should work because i get them all the time. i actually had to take my car in friday to get it fixed because there was a nail in my tire.
one last thing, mtv just recently filmed a(n unscrpited) reality tv show here in portland (i know this because my co-worker's friend works for mtv and he was here doing some of the filming, etc). they were at some high school in beaverton or west linn (somewhere rich) where some kids had gotten drunk at their prom and gotten caught. so they recreated the entire thing AFTER school was out for the summer and filmed it like it was really happening. they even put on a fake prom for the entire school to come to. reality my foot.
sorry- I have to use anonymous but I am not an official blogger . . . but I was just wondering . . . can you have alliances across state lines? How about a Texas-Oregon alliance. Or would that be an oxy-moron. Any way- there is one Texas Gal that is glad to hear from her Oregon buddie- even if I just have to read her blog:)
Make that two Texas gals. :)
BTW, I watched Meredith on the Bachelorette too, but only because she was a Portlander and I was homesick at the time...
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