mmmmfood

so generally at least once a day i like to eat some food. me and shanna and the girl went out and had some chow together on saturday. it was delicious and nutritious and i took some pictures.

here is shanna eating:



here is me eating:



here is the girl spawn eating:



and finally, here is me washing it all down with a refreshing glass of iced tea:



oh man, we are the hotness.

arrivederci, rebecca marie

love and hate

i hate it when i really want coffee, so i make coffee but while the coffee is brewing i decide to eat an apple. then, the coffee gets done and i realize that i don't want it anymore. i hate that.

however...

i love it when me and the mister take the spawn to eat chinese food, and when after much deliberation the boy settles on pork noodle soup me and the mister begin to tease him about what is in pork noodle soup. i tell him that it is basically spaghetti noodles and then they pee in the bowl and then add some pork and onions and if it's a real real classy place, half a hard boiled egg all sliced up. and so then i tell him that if they say "do you want special sauce?" he should right away say, "NO!" and then the girl says real real loud for everyone in the place to hear, "JUST ASK THEM FOR A BOWL OF SPAGHETTI WITH NO PEE IN IT." i love that.



arrivederci, rebecca marie

phriday photo phun

arrivederci, rebecca marie

it should be free,

but with an extensive screening process to weed out the unworthy.

i have room in my home, food in my cupboard, a supportive extended family, a diverse and accepting social group, a church circle that acts like jesus, an unquenched and almost painful thirst for more children and most of all, enough love in my heart.

what i lack is thousands of dollars. and that's how much i would need to do this.

and i think that is a huge part of what is wrong with this world.

arrivederci, rebecca marie

estrogen free america

here's a little poem i wrote for you:


later and later are my moon phases
a black whisker grows from my chin
the periods aren't any lighter
major discomfort i am in

i used to sleep under blankets galore
now it's night sweats and naught but chonies
my cicilian greeeeez has made way for dry skin
and something that rhymes with chonies

i seem to be estrogen heavy
according to all that i read
at least if i'm right in what i assume
less years than most will i bleed

i asked the doctor to confirm my suspicion
while she froze off the mole on my neck
it's true it's true, young age aside
she said "you're in pre-menopause, beck!"


oh my word, that is the most beautiful poem of ever! i can't believe i just wrote that. dang. i need a kleenex. at least i'm going to be a hot old lady. and no, i don't mean from the hot flashes.



arrivederci, rebecca marie

warning - the following post is not parenting advice

this one time i decided to get a new car. a cheap car. i wanted four doors and a trunk and a ten year warranty and i was going to buy whatever car had the deal du jour (i think there should be an apostrophe in that somewhere, like maybe du'jour or something but whatever i'm not french) and so i bought a kia spectra. because my entire goal was cheap, i did not opt for extras of any kind. therefore, the boy child had his first experience with crank 'em up crank 'em down windows. he was used to living in a world where the parents locked the controls from the front seat and only allowed the spawn to play with the buttons on days when tricking the spawn into believing they were magic seemed fun.

it was crankfest 2004. crankapalooza. cranktacular cranktagious crankalicious. it was the great cranking debacle of age six. it was the most annoying thing of ever.

so here is what i did. my mother was with me at the time, that is how little shame i have. i yelled to the backseat for the last time...

me - boy! roll your window up and leave it up and i am going to tell you why!

boy - (a bit scared by my tone) why?

me - the reason parents don't like their kids to roll down the windows is because sometimes, at red lights, when kids roll down the windows, bloody clowns come up to the car, reach in, yank out the kid and run off with the kid. and then the light turns green and the parents pull away and they don't even know that a bloody clown has stolen their kid.

grandmother - (laughing, shoulders shaking)

boy (look of terror not to be compared with any i've seen, ever) they do?

me - yes... look at grammie... she's so upset about it she's crying.

grandmother - boy, she's right, you'd better stop rolling down the window.

done and done. problem solved.



arrivederci, rebecca marie

i think the puking was payback

dear boy child

was the nine months of pregnancy comprised of the following:

TWENTY weeks of non-stop hiccups
heartburn
stretch marks from the pubic region (yes, i said pubic) to the rib cage
all day (not morning) sickness for all nine months
toxemia
preeclampsia
blood pressure at 189/101
throwing up through all 23 hours of labour
an emergency cesarian
three blood transfusions

not enough for you?

why did you have to successfully complete the worlds splashiest technicolour yawn from your top bunk last night?

no, you do not get extra points for hitting the pile of legos on the floor. nor do you get extra points for having consumed sausage, hashbrowns and a cucumber during the day.

sometimes, rubber gloves are not quite enough to keep me from toppling over the brink of sanity.



arrivederci, rebecca marie

p.s. on an unrelated note... can we all make a pact to not take too many drugs and then try to fix the damage with bad plastic surgery? oh mickey, you're not so fine, but you absolutely blow my mind.