why i hate christmas
so i got the mister this really suckie flip a page a day calendar. it is called "scuse me while i kiss this guy." every day you get a new really lame supposedly misunderstood song lyric.
according to this flippidy-doo-dad, some people thought that when fats domino sang "i'm gonna need two pairs of shoes," that what he was saying was "i'm gonna need two parachutes." i think that whoever thought that is anti-fat people, WE DO NOT NEED TWO PARACHUTES. that is not cool.
also, this calendar says that people mistakenly sang "eagle chips is not my thing. all this strange waste in chips really gets me down." when obviously bobby brown was saying "ego trips is not my thing. all these strange relationships really get me down." that is also dumbtastic, there are no eagle chips.
apparently when chumbawumba was out tubthumping, it caused a few people to believe that they "hate no doubt, but i get over it." when clearly what they said was, "i get knocked down, but i get up again." who could possibly hate no doubt? that freaking holla back ridiculousness, yes, but the original no doubt? that was clearly wrong. no way anyone was ever hating on i'm just a girl or don't speak. no way.
to all of you idiots who thought that everclear was "still living with your goats," look around, man! you still have all of your goats. he was in santa monica, "still living with your ghost."
here is my greatest issue. according to the main ingredient, "everybody plays the fool sometimes." this is accurate information. but when people were going around singing "everybody plays the flute sometimes," man that is just wrong.
where is my flute? i have never played the flute! this calendar is a liar. and that is why i hate christmas.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
according to this flippidy-doo-dad, some people thought that when fats domino sang "i'm gonna need two pairs of shoes," that what he was saying was "i'm gonna need two parachutes." i think that whoever thought that is anti-fat people, WE DO NOT NEED TWO PARACHUTES. that is not cool.
also, this calendar says that people mistakenly sang "eagle chips is not my thing. all this strange waste in chips really gets me down." when obviously bobby brown was saying "ego trips is not my thing. all these strange relationships really get me down." that is also dumbtastic, there are no eagle chips.
apparently when chumbawumba was out tubthumping, it caused a few people to believe that they "hate no doubt, but i get over it." when clearly what they said was, "i get knocked down, but i get up again." who could possibly hate no doubt? that freaking holla back ridiculousness, yes, but the original no doubt? that was clearly wrong. no way anyone was ever hating on i'm just a girl or don't speak. no way.
to all of you idiots who thought that everclear was "still living with your goats," look around, man! you still have all of your goats. he was in santa monica, "still living with your ghost."
here is my greatest issue. according to the main ingredient, "everybody plays the fool sometimes." this is accurate information. but when people were going around singing "everybody plays the flute sometimes," man that is just wrong.
where is my flute? i have never played the flute! this calendar is a liar. and that is why i hate christmas.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
proclaimed by rebecca marie at 8:29 PM
15 flattering compliments:
This is hillarious. Lori and I were discussing that you need to get an award for the funniest blog site.
How about the REM song, Its the End of the World as We Know It. "Nanananananananananan Leonard Bernstine nananananananana...."
Hold me closer, Tony Danza.
but "you make me feel like i'm unsure i'm a woman"
I used to think that they said "Geronimo" instead of "Domino"
"Oh oh Geronimo!"
BSC promptly corrected me and laughed in my face. Ahhh, the support of a marriage.
behind every good woman, there is a man waiting to mock her every move.
or something like that anyway.
i can't tell you how many songs i've mushed up. most recently it was "we don't need no reservation" which i sang QUITE loudly, as we were in an irish pub and the house band was doing their version of the famous song. it wasn't until i looked around and everyone was half laughing at me, half contorting their faces in awe that i would make such an off the wall mistake.
i tried to cover it up by continuing to add other reservation related lyrics "give us a table by the bathroom" and so on.
but i don't think they bought it.
My favorite is more of an intentional lyrical variation by Bart Simpson of I. Ron Butterfly's (not L. Ron Hubbard) song "In The Garden Of Eden".
i always heard that that was what the song was supposed to be called originally. hard to separate fact from fiction on ye olde internet, however.
i know someone who used to get stoned to the 17 minute version of that song.
someone i'm related to... no, it's not the mister, either. me and him pass on grass. all the time. (quick! whassat line from?)
wait wait wait. even after i emailed you to ask what song you butchered i still didn't get it.
you mean... "we don't need no education... HEY TEACHERS! LEAVE THEM KIDS ALONE!"
man man man
how'd it go in your head?
"we don't need no reservations.
we just want some sauce and rolls.
i really like your waiter costume.
hostess leave my date alone!
HEY HOSTESS LEAVE MY DATE ALONE!"
"Hush hush...keep it down now, you're so scary"
"blinded by the light...wrapped up like a douche you know a roader in the night"
"Ride on the B String!"
we should go around with our ipods and have peopel listen to the music and try to sing along.
very funny...
If you buy me an ipod, I'll do that with you.
wow. i don't know if it's because i'm surrounded by screaming nieces and nephews or if i'm just insane, but that was awesome. i'm sure i have a witty comment somewhere in the back of my mind, but i'd have to search long and hard to find it.
; )
Hey, friend.
Just wanted to let you know that I've changed my blog and it's address.
Also, I hope you had a lovely Christmas, even though, apparently, you hate it. Did you get our card?
or is it, "you make me feel like a man sure i'm a woman?"
huh. that can't be right either.
Ok. So check your calendar and tell me what Cheap Trick is really singing in "I want you to want me." There's this part in the song that I have no frickin' idea what they are yelling...
norman!
Post a Comment
<< Home