he must have the tidiest eyebrows in latin america
A long time ago, years, I’d guess between fifteen and twenty, I saw the most amazing thing on television. An explanation of the Bermuda Triangle! Keep in mind that as I was anywhere from ten to fifteen-ish at the time, the explanation had to be fairly simple for it to not only make sense, but stick in a brain that was quickly filling up with information such as, the lyrics to “Parents Just Don’t Understand,” by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, or the concept of not wearing white after Labor Day, or what Tom Bain wore to school on the first day of eight grade (black levis, red, black and white plaid shirt). For something like an explanation of the Bermuda Triangle to find it's way into the melee and take root was nothing short of a miracle.
Here’s how it came about. One night, Janni Laine and I happened upon a video countdown of some kind. The host was Dr. Demento. The songs were, for the most part, a terrific waste of time. Songs like, “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer,” and “Fish Heads.” But in the middle of all the garbage, there came this prize; “Elvis Needs Boats.”
According to this song (by the way, I will pay anyone one hundred dollars if they can deliver a copy of this video to me by February 5th, 2005, for Janni Laine’s birthday, email me at rebecca-marie@hotmail.com if you find it.), this is what happens to the boats that disappear in the Bermuda Triangle. Mmhmm. That’s right. I still recall the line “Ever wonder what happens to all of the boats that disappear in the Bermuda Triangle? Elvis needs Boats! Elvis needs Boats!” There was even video footage of Elvis rowing around in one of his stolen boats. I’m telling you. Parents who would not let their kids watch him on Ed Sullivan were on to something. He’s a criminal if I ever saw one.
What I’m wondering today is, why am I just now realizing that this is clearly what happens to lots of things. The other sock. The keys. The missing remote. Clearly Elvis needs these items. I’m fine with this arrangement. It’s not like he can walk into Best Buy and purchase a universal remote. Fine, take mine, it was only $9.95, I’ll buy another. What I’m having trouble understanding is this; does Elvis really need so many tweezers and nail clippers? Dude must bogart like three pairs of tweezers and seven sets of clippers from my house alone each year.
Why does he need so many?
arrivederci, rebecca marie
Here’s how it came about. One night, Janni Laine and I happened upon a video countdown of some kind. The host was Dr. Demento. The songs were, for the most part, a terrific waste of time. Songs like, “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer,” and “Fish Heads.” But in the middle of all the garbage, there came this prize; “Elvis Needs Boats.”
According to this song (by the way, I will pay anyone one hundred dollars if they can deliver a copy of this video to me by February 5th, 2005, for Janni Laine’s birthday, email me at rebecca-marie@hotmail.com if you find it.), this is what happens to the boats that disappear in the Bermuda Triangle. Mmhmm. That’s right. I still recall the line “Ever wonder what happens to all of the boats that disappear in the Bermuda Triangle? Elvis needs Boats! Elvis needs Boats!” There was even video footage of Elvis rowing around in one of his stolen boats. I’m telling you. Parents who would not let their kids watch him on Ed Sullivan were on to something. He’s a criminal if I ever saw one.
What I’m wondering today is, why am I just now realizing that this is clearly what happens to lots of things. The other sock. The keys. The missing remote. Clearly Elvis needs these items. I’m fine with this arrangement. It’s not like he can walk into Best Buy and purchase a universal remote. Fine, take mine, it was only $9.95, I’ll buy another. What I’m having trouble understanding is this; does Elvis really need so many tweezers and nail clippers? Dude must bogart like three pairs of tweezers and seven sets of clippers from my house alone each year.
Why does he need so many?
arrivederci, rebecca marie
proclaimed by rebecca marie at 5:34 AM
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