reckless abandon
I think that some of the most entertaining things that I deal with in my daily life are my impulses. And I don’t mean, impulse to go tee tee, or impulse to go to sleep when I’m sleepy. I’m talking about the impulse to yank the hair of the woman in front of me at the grocery store (I mean, yank, grab hold and really let fly). That just rocks.
The other day, (well yesterday, actually) I had the impulse to cut my own cornea with scissors. I’m not joking. Now I did not act on this impulse, of course. And I’m sure most of you are now looking into having me committed, just know that I’m fine with you thinking I’m crazy. Now, this was in no way the desire to harm myself. I just had the mental image, and then I wondered what it would be like. Please don’t call the authorities, I promise it was a fleeting thought…
Sometimes I’ll be driving down the road and I’ll have the impulse to spit my gum out at the windshield. The reason that I don’t spit my gum out at the windshield is because I usually chew big girl gum that isn’t sticky, and the payoff would be lousy. Hopefully, someday I’ll have the impulse when I’ve got a big wad of bubblegum in my mouth. That would be great.
One time, Janni Laine had the impulse to slap me. Not because I deserved it, she just wanted to know what it would feel like to slap someone. She decided to tell me about it, and so I said "Oh, Janni Laine! Do it! Do it!" I mean really folks, how often can you help someone fulfill their impulse? So, she hauled off and slapped me. She was a bit disappointed with how it felt to carry out, but she was thrilled that I even let her. But I got it. I got the need.
What I want to see is National Impulse Day. And, I really really think it should be soon, onaccoutnabecause if it isn’t, I’ll probably forget about it. Here’re what I think the rules should be. No sin, no crime. Other than that, if you get the impulse do it. Pull hair. Cut stuff (not your cornea please, I probably over-shared). Slap your sister. Light a candle and after it burns for a while pour the wax out all over the kitchen table. Blow a spit wad at the nice lady who hands you your order at taco bell. Stab some of the produce at the store with your car keys. Do it! It’s National Impulse Day!
Now where’d I put my matches…..
arrivederci, rebecca marie
The other day, (well yesterday, actually) I had the impulse to cut my own cornea with scissors. I’m not joking. Now I did not act on this impulse, of course. And I’m sure most of you are now looking into having me committed, just know that I’m fine with you thinking I’m crazy. Now, this was in no way the desire to harm myself. I just had the mental image, and then I wondered what it would be like. Please don’t call the authorities, I promise it was a fleeting thought…
Sometimes I’ll be driving down the road and I’ll have the impulse to spit my gum out at the windshield. The reason that I don’t spit my gum out at the windshield is because I usually chew big girl gum that isn’t sticky, and the payoff would be lousy. Hopefully, someday I’ll have the impulse when I’ve got a big wad of bubblegum in my mouth. That would be great.
One time, Janni Laine had the impulse to slap me. Not because I deserved it, she just wanted to know what it would feel like to slap someone. She decided to tell me about it, and so I said "Oh, Janni Laine! Do it! Do it!" I mean really folks, how often can you help someone fulfill their impulse? So, she hauled off and slapped me. She was a bit disappointed with how it felt to carry out, but she was thrilled that I even let her. But I got it. I got the need.
What I want to see is National Impulse Day. And, I really really think it should be soon, onaccoutnabecause if it isn’t, I’ll probably forget about it. Here’re what I think the rules should be. No sin, no crime. Other than that, if you get the impulse do it. Pull hair. Cut stuff (not your cornea please, I probably over-shared). Slap your sister. Light a candle and after it burns for a while pour the wax out all over the kitchen table. Blow a spit wad at the nice lady who hands you your order at taco bell. Stab some of the produce at the store with your car keys. Do it! It’s National Impulse Day!
Now where’d I put my matches…..
arrivederci, rebecca marie
proclaimed by rebecca marie at 8:15 AM
1 flattering compliments:
So, I poked Byron in the eye yesterday when he was telling me a story. That wasn't good enough tho. So I went to poke BOTH his eyes. That's when he stopped me. Nothing was said. He knows I have impulse control problems. He's good with it.
Post a Comment
<< Home