what comes around goes around

When I was like 5, I decided it would kinda rule to start giving gifts. I thought "hey, people give me crap and it makes me all warm and fuzzy like, so maybe I can give gifts and make them feel all warm and fuzzy like." Actually, I really doubt that I thought that. I know me, I’ve spent a real whole lot of time with me, and I bet it was more like "if I give people crap, they’ll dig me." But the first way sounded nicer, so just forget the other.

So Christmas was coming, and here’s what I did. I found this kind of weird looking not quite lime green stuffed animal turtle that I had gotten too dirty to play with anymore (prolly had achoo all over it too, I was five and all), under my bed. I wrapped it all up, and put a label on it. "To Janni Laine From Rebecca Marie." (Clever gift tag, eh? I was stretching the old writing muscle even then!)

So Janni Laine goes "hey, twerpie you. Tell me whatchoo got me for Christmas or I’ll give you a wicked bad Indian Burn on your arm." She didn’t say that. That was a lie. But I wanted to say that she did. The problem is? She’ll read this and out me.

So Janni Laine goes "hey! I’ve an idea! Let’s not wait till Christmas to find out what we’re getting! You tell me what you gave me, and I’ll tell you what I’m giving you! Deal?"

And I’m all like I go "Sweet! You know that nasty green turtle that feels like it’s full of beanbag beans? I wrapped that up and that’s what you’re getting! Now don’t you feel all warm and fuzzy like?"

And you know what that selfish selfish girl said?

"MOM!!!!! Rebecca Marie’s going around telling everyone about all the crap they are getting and now Christmas is gonna suck for REAL."

Dood. She is so not getting a birthday present this year. I’m so glad I remembered that in time.



arrivederci, rebecca marie