bumper sticker free america

Bumper stickers fascinate me. I currently have one that is one of those window cling dealiebobs. It’s right above the brake light in my rear window. It looks like this;



I also used to have a Bush/Cheney sticker on my window. Yeah that’s right. But, I took it down the evening of the inauguration, as I don’t believe in gloating.

What I love though, are bumper stickers like "What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about?" or "If I didn’t own a horse, this would be a Rolls Royce," or "I’ve just never been the same since that house fell on my sister," or "Save the Whales! Harpoon a fat chick!" or "Sure, alchohol kills brain cells, but only the weak ones," or "Keep honking, I’m reloading." PEOPLE!! Is this really what you want glued to your car? Is this the personal statement that you wish to make to the world?

I can so go in for the "this is my favorite team/alma mater/policical hero" sticker. But some of these statements just crack me up! Don’t even get me started on people who tell you how they "do it." "Teachers do it with Class!" and "Jazz players do it with Style!" and "Bartenders do it All Night Long!" Mine would read "I do it in the privacy of my home and I don’t discuss it with other drivers."

I think we should all have bumper stickers that actually mean something. Like, "I have ADD real real bad so don’t follow me cause I’ll go like twenty places trying to get to just one place," or "I have road rage, and this isn’t just meant to be a cute bumper sticker, so watch out, you've been warned!" or "Chances are if you look into my car you’ll catch me picking my nose," or "I failed my drivers test three times, so I just use my cousins license, please don’t tell him I took it," or "I have narcolepsy, so steer clear." That would make a lot more sense to me.

Hmmmm. I wonder what mine would say?



arrivederci, rebecca marie