i found in my pursuit of God that He was much more hotly in pursuit of me.

Friday, December 15, 2006

there's this one guy i don't like

so you guys know how i don't like christmas (i almost said "so you guys know how i hate christmas?" but i decided that hate is a very strong word)? i hate that it's about get get get (i know, some of us aren't like that...), and how you like, decorate the house and then the kids get yelled at for touching all of the fun pretty stuff. and how people over spend and eat too much all while being grouchy with strangers. i could go on and on, just ask janni laine or the mister, they know my drill. i realize these are generalizations, but i'm sure you all get what i'm saying, even a little, so please no hate comments, i'm fragile and i might delete them.

anyway, so there's this guy i don't like. wanna know why? well, he sits at a market close to me every year and collects for the salvation army. that's fine. i think that the army is doing a pretty awesome job at teaching people about how to love jesus, so it's great that he is getting fundage for them and stuff. it's the way he is a complete and total liar jerk that makes me so mad.

here is the deal ee oh. i used to work with this guy, jim. jim is a righteous cat, he's all like, in the army and stuff (the real army, not the salvation one), and he's nice and everything. he totally befriended this salvation army money collector dude and i usta see him all, buying him coffee and stuff. see, there was this coffee stand at the market, you know, the one where said jerk is now collecting dough, and i would walk by on my way to buy, you know, apples and tampons and what-not, and i'd see jim talking to the m.c. (money collector). so the m.c. is in a wheelchair, i don't know if i told you that. well anyway, he's handicapped, or differently abled or whatever and i'm going to start a new paragraph now, even though it's not really time, but just because i already gave you all a brutal run on sentence and i'm not going to compound it with a run on paragraph, too.

so anyway, i would walk by jim and the m.c. they would be having these nice conversations, and everyone was clearly understood. the reason i specify that everyone was clearly understood is because the m.c. is speech impaired. i completely agree that that must suck. his legs don't work, and his speech is slightly slurred. that makes jim's relationship with him even nicer. a lot of people have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to disabililty (i have a zero tolerance policy for those people, by the way, they suck and they'll probably end up disabled just to spite themselves). but let me repeat... his speech is slightly slurred. completely understandable.

(ladies and gentlemen... it is all an emphasis thing. i have a zero tolerance policy for the people who have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to disability. NOT... "i have a zero tolerance policy for the disabled.")

that's why i don't like him. switch to christmas time, and suddenly, when he is ringing his salvation army bell, his speech is almost entirely unintelligible. that is not right dude. that is not right even a little. you insult me by pretending to be desperate and pathetic when you are neither. i used to respect you, cause i'd see you cruisin' down JCB waving at your friends on the way to get some coffee. i thought you were so cool for getting out there and making friends when if i were in your situation i'd likely be trying to get people to feel sorry for me.

well you know what? you suck. you suck for trying to make people pity you and therefore guilt them into giving more money. i'm not going to say "merry christmas," to you when you say "meeeeee kimuh.... haay houeee....." to me. i'm not going to say it so hard.

and that is why i don't like that one guy. or christmas.

arrivederci, rebecca marie

18 flattering compliments:

Blogger arwen gushed...

i don't like that guy either... and I'm starting to get a little bah humbug in me too...

12/16/2006 1:01 PM  
Blogger arwen gushed...

ps: glad you're back. I actually came here to check up on you like I do on Lisa. But I don't know... I might do it anyways.

12/16/2006 1:02 PM  
Blogger Jess gushed...

I don't know if I get the story...you don't like the M.C. in the wheel chair because he makes himself more impaired at Christmas...or does Jim who buys coffee have a speach problem? And did you say that you don't like people with disabilities?? I don't think you probably said this, but what I heard was you have no patience for people with disabilities?? I am so confused right now!

12/16/2006 9:04 PM  
Blogger rebecca marie gushed...

you're right on it, jess... the m.c. has a VERY slight speech impairment, which he WAY over-exaggerates when colleting money, and i think people who are intolerant of disabilities are horrid.

also? i hope you're at church tomorrow!

12/16/2006 9:16 PM  
Blogger Ty gushed...

I too am a bit of a humbug. I like most of the season, I like excuses to get gifts for people I love and I like hot choclate and Christmas lights, I like baking.

I do not like: egg nog, having the house be a pit from the time the Christmas boxes come out until we finish decorating (the bad part is that I am so depressed by the mess that I don't feel like decorating), the Christmas greed, capitalization on Christmas Greed, the battle for Christmas (I hate having to listen to Christians say, "they're taking Christ out of Christmas," and I hate the way secularists want to wipe him out of all parts of public life, oh, and I hate the way other people want to insist that it is a non-inclusive holiday when the american version is a secular and national holiday), that some kids have to do without, that some kids get SO MUCH and resent the fact that they didn't get some desired item . . .

I could go on for hours, but I'm tired, good post.

WV: unnumk

12/16/2006 10:55 PM  
Blogger JanniLaine gushed...

I remember how shocked we were when we heard his slurred speach after seeing him around so much! We couldn't believe our ears.

I remember one of us wanted to go up to him and call him out on it. "Hey! Why are you faking your speach slurr?" But whatever. He is disrespectful to himself and everyone else for faking.

Yes. He's in a wheelchair. I can't imagine how limited he must feel. But to fake another? ick.

If I see him now that I'm back I just may say something to him....

word verification: shrmey.

shrmey shrmey is right!

12/17/2006 8:36 PM  
Blogger RoniZee gushed...

Remember that time that Jess thought you hated everyone? And then she was kind of right? And then we ate burritos? And then you stole Jess' baby?

That was a good day.

12/18/2006 8:48 AM  
Blogger RoniZee gushed...

Remember that time that Jess thought you hated everyone? And then she was kind of right? And then we ate burritos? And then you stole Jess' baby?

That was a good day.

12/18/2006 8:49 AM  
Blogger RoniZee gushed...

Remember that time that Jess thought you hated everyone? And then she was kind of right? And then we ate burritos? And then you stole Jess' baby?

That was a good day.

12/18/2006 8:55 AM  
Blogger Rebecca gushed...

Um, Roni, I think she gets the point. You don't have to keep repeating yourself. :)

I will go to bat for you RM and assure your readers that you, in fact, do not hate people with disabilities.

12/18/2006 9:12 AM  
Blogger RoniZee gushed...

Ugh. Stupid Blogger wouldn't let me comment, so I gave up, and then it publishes it 3 times.

I hate you Blogger. Do you hear me? HATE!

12/18/2006 11:20 AM  
Blogger JanniLaine gushed...

Wait. I'm confused. Who thinks you hate people with disibilities? What.Just.Happened.

She will go on record as being a liar hater. RM hates liars. The story would have been the same story wheelchair or no. He's a liar and a sneaky.

Can someone be "a" sneaky?

Ask her about the little song "Revelation 21:8"

12/18/2006 1:15 PM  
Blogger Jessica gushed...

Revaltion Revalation 21:8 21:8
Liars go to hell
Liars go to hell
BURN BURN BURN
BURN BURN BURN

fond memories from my childhood

:o)

12/18/2006 1:35 PM  
Blogger Jess gushed...

So tonight I walked over to my local Walgreens to pick up some photots and what did I see...A bell ringer...not just your average bell ringer...but a bell ringer who was sitting in a folding lawn chair blowing bubbles and ringing his little silver bell at the same time! What the??!! They blow bubbles now? I am so happy.

12/18/2006 8:40 PM  
Blogger rebecca marie gushed...

see? now that guy i'd give money to!

12/18/2006 8:51 PM  
Blogger James Wood gushed...

Did you ever stop to think that maybe he wasn't faking? Sure he can speak normally at other times, but Christmas-time is very near the winter solstice and the gravitational forces might cause his disability to intensify. Or maybe he was drunk.

It's ok to be drunk while working for a charity, right?

WV: vedabllz - sounds like meat-ball substitute for vegans.

12/19/2006 8:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous gushed...

Wow Becky, that guy really tweaked your button. I can't let that typically American kind of behavior affect me and my Christmas. They say the Christmas is for the kids..... whatever. Christmas is for me, so I can remember, in a good way, why I was put on this planet to begin with.... I do feel your pain. It's hard to stay in the spirit with people like that..... I love that WC slurred speach guy anyway if only because God loves him......

Jeremy

12/27/2006 9:00 PM  
Blogger rebecca marie gushed...

oh jeremy... first of all, welcome to my blog! second... i only don't like him with the love of jesus. i promise. you know me well enough (even though we've not seen each other in person in the better part of two decades) to know that in general i root for the underdog and that i have no enemies!

thanks for the christmas wish on mymymyspace. i like you.

12/27/2006 9:25 PM  

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