find all of your answers here
Often I’m asked to give advice to friends. Seriously, like every day. “Rebecca Marie, I think that guy over there is smokin’ hot, how should I approach him?” “Rebecca Marie, I’ve got a haircut scheduled for Friday, what should I do?” “Rebecca Marie, I need a raise, how should I ask?” “Rebecca Marie, I’ve been fighting quite a bit with my husband, any suggestions of what I can do to gain back peace and harmony?” You get the idea.
Well, being the giver that I am, I’ve decided to start posting some of my advice here. There is no reason for these nearly divine interactions to be limited to the asker and myself. Sometimes, I’m just certain that the question being asked applies to many people, so a lot of my faithful readers may benefit from my wisdom. Please email me at rebecca-marie@hotmail.com if you are seeking advice, as I plan on this being a continued feature. I’ll pick at least one question a week to answer, more if need be. I’m just a giver that way.
So, with no further ado, I give you my first official advice blog;
Dear Rebecca Marie,
I came across your blog online, and you just seem so insightful! When I read your entry about your very own superiority, I got chills! It was like reading my own thoughts, only so much more eloquently than I ever could have expressed them. That’s why I feel comfortable asking you for help with this dilemma. I’m a college student, and I live in a dorm room with 3 other girls. I feel like I am so much better than them! When they tell me stories, I think they are stupid. When they show me pictures of their boyfriends, I think they are so ugly. I often wonder how much higher my GPA is than theirs. Is this normal Rebecca Marie? Or do I have delusions of grandeur? Please Help!
Sincerely,
Am I better than them? Ashland, Oregon
Dear Am I better,
No. Clearly No. If you were better than them, you wouldn’t be wondering. You would walk the halls confident of your very own superiority instead of just wondering about it. Unfortunately, as you are already well into womanhood (unless you are one of those freaks who starts college at 13) you have already formed a rock solid opinion of yourself that can’t be changed now. No amount of internal rambling will help. If I were you I would pack up, quit school and move back home immediately. Burger King is always hiring smiling faces. Good luck with all of that.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
Well, being the giver that I am, I’ve decided to start posting some of my advice here. There is no reason for these nearly divine interactions to be limited to the asker and myself. Sometimes, I’m just certain that the question being asked applies to many people, so a lot of my faithful readers may benefit from my wisdom. Please email me at rebecca-marie@hotmail.com if you are seeking advice, as I plan on this being a continued feature. I’ll pick at least one question a week to answer, more if need be. I’m just a giver that way.
So, with no further ado, I give you my first official advice blog;
Dear Rebecca Marie,
I came across your blog online, and you just seem so insightful! When I read your entry about your very own superiority, I got chills! It was like reading my own thoughts, only so much more eloquently than I ever could have expressed them. That’s why I feel comfortable asking you for help with this dilemma. I’m a college student, and I live in a dorm room with 3 other girls. I feel like I am so much better than them! When they tell me stories, I think they are stupid. When they show me pictures of their boyfriends, I think they are so ugly. I often wonder how much higher my GPA is than theirs. Is this normal Rebecca Marie? Or do I have delusions of grandeur? Please Help!
Sincerely,
Am I better than them? Ashland, Oregon
Dear Am I better,
No. Clearly No. If you were better than them, you wouldn’t be wondering. You would walk the halls confident of your very own superiority instead of just wondering about it. Unfortunately, as you are already well into womanhood (unless you are one of those freaks who starts college at 13) you have already formed a rock solid opinion of yourself that can’t be changed now. No amount of internal rambling will help. If I were you I would pack up, quit school and move back home immediately. Burger King is always hiring smiling faces. Good luck with all of that.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
proclaimed by rebecca marie at 8:08 PM
3 flattering compliments:
True Bill, True. However, I really gave it serious thought before I recommended a career path to her. The reason I settled on Burger King is two fold. One, as it already takes approximately 17 minutes to get through the line at Dairy Queen her stupidity couldn't shine there. Two, Burger King boasts the ability to "have it your way" and I want to go in and place complicted orders, then pay with exact change, just to watch her as she crumbles under the pressure. My feeling is that that would be awesome.
i'd reccommend one of those new joints that is a KFC AND an A&W...how awesome would that be to order from each menu, ask her to deep fry your burger and drench your apple pie in BBQ. I respect your BK advice, but i'd say she should become a fast food whore, and give them all a chance to fire her.
RebeccaMarie...... or whatever your name is today... I know I raised you better than that.. haven't I told you that Hot Dog on a Stick has the absolute best uniforms.. and and and... you can only order 3 things there.. now get it right or you're grounded!
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