it doesn't rhyme with delores
I'm really hoping you've seen one particular episode of Seinfeld. I need to borrow from it for this post.
Remember when Jerry was dating the woman whose name he could not remember? He tried to trick her into telling him what it was by asking if she was ever teased about it as a child. Her response was "Of course! What do you expect when your name rhymes with a part of the female anatomy!" Well, her name was Delores, you do the math. Henceforth, in this post, when I need to say a certain embarrassing word, I'm going to say Delores. With me? All right.
I had braces for a very long time. Five years, two months, and two days, specifically. This means that I spent an awful lot of time at the orthodontist. One layer deeper, and this means that so did Wade. See, we went to private school and we carpooled. When one of us had an after school activity of any kind, we were all hostage to the event. Therefore, Wade accompanied me to my ortho visits.
My orthodontist had a large window seat across all of his stations, so that parents could watch the appointment, and one day, Wade decided to go back with me and witness my torture. Here's where things got interesting.
Do you know what your uvula is? Most of my family calls it a goozle. It's the little bit of flabby pink skin that hangs down in the back of your throat. Well, I've a hole in mine. That's right. A hole. Shine a flashlight down my throat and it makes a righteous shadow on my throat. It's pretty cool, actually.
(i know this is long, but keep reading, i swear the payoff is good)
Wade was more than a wee bit taken with the girl who was working on my braces, and he decided that life would not continue if he did not come up with a way to speak to her. So, he shuffled through the contents of his brain, and this is what he came up with;
"Did you know that Rebecca Marie has a hole in her Delores?"
All the poor girl could do was blink owlishly at him. Wade took a few moments to recover from the shock of his very own words and tried again.
"Uhm, did you notice that Rebecca Marie has a hole in her uvula?"
His skills at picking up chicks greatly improved in the coming years, praise the Lord.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
Remember when Jerry was dating the woman whose name he could not remember? He tried to trick her into telling him what it was by asking if she was ever teased about it as a child. Her response was "Of course! What do you expect when your name rhymes with a part of the female anatomy!" Well, her name was Delores, you do the math. Henceforth, in this post, when I need to say a certain embarrassing word, I'm going to say Delores. With me? All right.
I had braces for a very long time. Five years, two months, and two days, specifically. This means that I spent an awful lot of time at the orthodontist. One layer deeper, and this means that so did Wade. See, we went to private school and we carpooled. When one of us had an after school activity of any kind, we were all hostage to the event. Therefore, Wade accompanied me to my ortho visits.
My orthodontist had a large window seat across all of his stations, so that parents could watch the appointment, and one day, Wade decided to go back with me and witness my torture. Here's where things got interesting.
Do you know what your uvula is? Most of my family calls it a goozle. It's the little bit of flabby pink skin that hangs down in the back of your throat. Well, I've a hole in mine. That's right. A hole. Shine a flashlight down my throat and it makes a righteous shadow on my throat. It's pretty cool, actually.
(i know this is long, but keep reading, i swear the payoff is good)
Wade was more than a wee bit taken with the girl who was working on my braces, and he decided that life would not continue if he did not come up with a way to speak to her. So, he shuffled through the contents of his brain, and this is what he came up with;
"Did you know that Rebecca Marie has a hole in her Delores?"
All the poor girl could do was blink owlishly at him. Wade took a few moments to recover from the shock of his very own words and tried again.
"Uhm, did you notice that Rebecca Marie has a hole in her uvula?"
His skills at picking up chicks greatly improved in the coming years, praise the Lord.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
proclaimed by rebecca marie at 3:21 PM
1 flattering compliments:
Oh, no! I have to say that I am glad I'm not the only one who says things and then wishes they could take them back!!!! "A closed mouth gathers no foot".
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