Take me now, Lord, I can't take anymore.
Ever have one of those experiences that you think you won't recover from? This one time, in grade twelve, I had a madly innapropriate crush on a teacher. It was exhilerating and humiliating all at the same time. It wasn't to the point that I had fantasies of him quiting his job to run off with me, but it was close.
He was one of those very available teachers. He was just always around. He'd be in the college library that we'd study in. He'd be in the cafeteria at lunch time. He'd be at all of the games. He was just cool like that. Very visible.
Well one day, we were standing together watching a soccer game and I noticed some gum on the ground. The dialogue went as follows:
Rebecca Marie - Look at that gum.
Hot Teacher - Yeah, people are rude.
RM - Do you suppose gum ever bio-degrades?
HT - No, I think it pretty much stays around forever.
RM - What if you swallow it? Do you think your body processes it and makes it go away?
HT - No, I'd bet it just passes through. Like peanuts.
Yeah, you heard me right. The teacher I had a raging crush on was engaging me in a conversation about the contents of poop.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
He was one of those very available teachers. He was just always around. He'd be in the college library that we'd study in. He'd be in the cafeteria at lunch time. He'd be at all of the games. He was just cool like that. Very visible.
Well one day, we were standing together watching a soccer game and I noticed some gum on the ground. The dialogue went as follows:
Rebecca Marie - Look at that gum.
Hot Teacher - Yeah, people are rude.
RM - Do you suppose gum ever bio-degrades?
HT - No, I think it pretty much stays around forever.
RM - What if you swallow it? Do you think your body processes it and makes it go away?
HT - No, I'd bet it just passes through. Like peanuts.
Yeah, you heard me right. The teacher I had a raging crush on was engaging me in a conversation about the contents of poop.
arrivederci, rebecca marie
proclaimed by rebecca marie at 2:04 PM
9 flattering compliments:
You know what? NO. Stop it right now. And he WAS hot! But that just goes to show you how stupid boys can be. (I sad can be, not are). Seriously. You don't talk to high school girls about ANY kind of bodily function. Ever. Even if you are her MOM.
Guys just love to talk about poop. I think that's just a fact of life... it starts when they're about 3 and they think that stinky, nasty things are funny.
That just goes to show you how wise and wily that teacher was--by engaging a high school girl (whom he clearly knew had a crush on him) in a casual conversation about poop, he was gently and potently severing the cord of affection. Much better than several alternatives I can think of... *smirk*
Every time I read your blog you make me laugh. I truly apprecite your stories and randomness
LMBO!!!!!!!!!!! you talked about poop!
uhh huh huh! peanuts! still LAUGHING!
What? Guys talk about poop. It's normal. Why do you think we love corn so much? Because it's a great poop conversation starter!
What, pray tell, makes you think of these gems from your past? Do you have a notebook full of stories about which to blog?
Poop - hehehehe.
ha ha, no james, it's just i've a nearly photographic memory. i can still tell you what most of the class was wearing on the first day of eigth grade.
Post a Comment
<< Home